Thursday, August 29, 2013

Escorts in Buffalo

Why is Buffalo so over run with bait-n-switch escorts?
Over the past few months I have been calling different escorts each week for out call visits. Out of 12 different escort ads only 2 were actually the girl from the photos in the ad. The other 10 looked nothing like the girl in the ads. Now the whole bait-n-switch thing is not only a Buffalo thing, I have seen it in other cities across the country as well, but not to this extent. The number of bait-n-switch ads here are the reverse of other cities I've been to. Also the number of them trying to get the money then suddenly having to run to their car to get something they forgot is also out of hand here.
Any escorts that are real and not some short of scam that would like to place an ad here feel free to contact us.
Any one who would like to leave a review of an escort they have seen, also feel free to contact us here.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

The 86 Rules of Boozing

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month.
Buying-drink5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up.
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
Girly Drink20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.
23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.
26. If there is a d.j., you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.
27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.
28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.
Ripple30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.
32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.
36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender’s guide and browse through all the drinks you’ve never tried.
37. Try one new drink each week.
38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.
39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tellthe barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.
40. If you have ever told a bartender, “Hey, it all spends the same,” then you are a cheap ass.
41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.
42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.
43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.
44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.
Drink Alone45. It's okay to drink alone.
46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.
47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.
48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.
49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.
51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.
52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.
54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
Slurring55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.
57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.
58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.
59. If you are broke and a friend is “sporting you”, you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.
60. If you are broke and a friend is “making sport of you”, you may steal any drink he leaves unattended.
61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.
62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.
63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.
Tipping64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.
66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I'm an idiot.”
67. Never ask a bartender “what's good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.
68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.
71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.
72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they’re sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.
Drink it or leave it73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.
75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.
76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.
77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with “I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . .”
78. When you’re in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he’s buying.
79. If you are 86’d, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you.
80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.
81. If you’re going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It’s the no-tell liquor.
82. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.
83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there’s something in it.
85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.
86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.
                                                                                                           --Frank Kelly Rich

 from the Modern Drunkard Magazine



How To Make A Mai Tai Cocktail


Alcoholic Ice Cream just in time for summer parties

Just in time for summer we have found Alcoholic Ice Cream.

The Artist JDAZ™ Presents: Melissa Morgan

© 2013 The Artist JDAZ


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

How to become a Porn Star!

People ask me all the time how can I become a Porn Star?
So I decided to write something to help those wanting to get into the business.

First off, take the advice of real porn star, director, producer, or someone like me that was all of the above.

If you're a female wanting to become porn star,it's pretty simple.
It doesn't matter if you are fat or skinny, old or young, ugly or pretty you can still get hired pretty easy. All you will need to do is find a male photographer, director, or producer that either wants to hire you or fuck you and hire you. Most will want to fuck you and that's why they are hiring you. This doesn't mean you have to fuck them, but it means most of the time if they want to hire you, they want to fuck you unless they are gay. Now if you don't fuck them some will still hire you others will not, so it all depends on how bad you want the job, remember you are looking for a job having sex. If you can not find one that will hire you for pay then find one that will do it for content trade and use the video and photos to advertise yourself to others that will hire you for pay, this is the easiest way to get started depending on where you live.

Now if you are a male and wanting to become a adult male porn star things are not as easy.
I am going to tell you this and it's based on the way I got into porn. First off you need to know you are nothing more than a meat puppet and directors generally dont care what you look like. They sometimes will care how big you are and sometimes need bigger dicks for certain moves but generally they only CARE THAT YOU CAN KEEP IT HARD WHEN NEEDED AND CUM ON COMMAND. If you can do this then your in. Also if you have a small dick no worries because a lot of content lines use them. Now your saying to yourself well I can do that so what's so hard about getting in right? Well here's the trick, YOU MUST PROVE IT! Many guys say than can do this and can't so people dont want to hire new guys. They always want to hire hot new girls so the trick is get a hot girl to work with you and that will only work with you and pitch her to the companies saying she will only fuck you. The companies will have you bring her to set and fuck her and if you get wood and cum and do your job right then you both get paid, and if not you neither of you do. Now once you have done this with a few companies you can now say to people I have work for such and such director for such and such company and people wont be scared to hire you. You will in time start getting work.

Ok, now any questions please post below and remember you can get anything you want in life depending on how hard you're willing to work to get it.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Models Wanted

Seeking female talent for Erotic Photo shoots in the Western New York area.
Please reply with name, age, contact info, availability, desired rate and at least 2 photos.
info@TheArtistJDAZ.info
www.TheArtistJDAZ.info